“ We were meant to lose people we love. How else would we know how important they are?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

"I found myself belligerent following the Stars in your Eyes."

Coco Rosie

gazed & amazed.

Today I cried. I cried for all the joy in my Life. I cried for the sadness. I literally mobilized myself into a position where I was alone. Meaning moi, in a movie theatre. By. Myself.

The movie was insanely appropriate. To sum my mini adventure up, I will say this:

"Choose your emotions like you choose your wardrobe."

"I will stay with you unhappy to remain happy because I am with you."

"Think of the possibilities."

I sigh. I literally cried my way through this beautiful flick. And then I left with broken stories that piece who I am in this huge World.

I cover my emotions with my aviators. But today that trusty friend was overwhelmed by the stream of Love. Love for myself, Love for whom I Love.

But what I realized is, I Loved enough to let go.

I jumped in my car with such haste (late for work, possibly) and a Yellow Butterfly flew past my windshield. I gazed amazed. I turned on the radio and the most golden, perfection of a song started as my fingers left the knob. I laughed and I cried.

See, I realized through all of this...through every inch of my body aching...

I will be okay.

Folks, Life is too short. I will remain insanely passionate in every moment all of the time,

BUT

I remembered junior high. "Take a chill pill."

So I am chilling. Drugged up on a pill that will take me higher, and beyond.

And at the end of the day I will be happy.

“ It isn’t possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal.

E.M. Forster

“ But it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.

American Beauty

“ I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on.

Stephen Sondheim

a song to twirl to.

pretty please.

"As my situation changed and the time tumbled on, a small part of me was terrified, truly terrified to not to hurt over someone I once loved, anymore. My flawed logic as it played out over the last 12 months was this: As bad as the pain of losing the man I loved was, I wanted him to be in my life in any capacity. Even if my role was to be that of the unrequited lover, I would take it and this meant that he would be in my heart (albeit, in the most painful of ways) and I could continue maintaining his presence more there then if I were to fully close the chapter of this love and move on.

I burrowed myself deeply into my own emotions and existed in a comfortable state of sadness for a little over a year, a place that in the dark, I could feel my way around it’s raw edges, and I grew to know this space quite well. But, both recently and rather suddenly, I realized that I am mourning, and truthfully, felt a panic at the possibility.

I think the funny thing about this emotion is that in terms of relationships, everyone wants to control something so they can feel sure about it. Since the last thing we can ever manage is that of the heart and emotions of another person, we are stuck with the crazy depths of our own minds to perceive life as we conceive it to be.

I have a hard time with the loss of romantic love simply because much of the time, it means the loss of your best friend as well."

yes.

"I believe that Ghandi's views are the most enlightened of our time; we should strive to do things in his spirit. Not to use violence for our cause, but by not participating in anything we believe to be evil."

- Albert Einstein

Oh how my heart needed this.

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of Life: that word is Love."
Sophocles

“ Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.

Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidentia

write away.

...during a restless, mind whirling night I calmed myself with a pen and paper.

*I highly recommend it.

“ No single event can awaken within us a stranger whose existence we had never suspected. To live is to be slowly born.

Antoine de Saint Exupéry (1900-1944)

“ Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Wilder

flow.

Practicing a little patience today. I woke up split between two options: to be negative or to be positive. After arguing with myself, I decided to just go with the flow of the day.

Its working out nicely.

to you.

“ This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Actions speak louder than words.

“ Some people, as far as your senses are concerned, just feel like home.

High Fidelity

Abundance: A-Bun-Dance...

Dance your buns off today.

:)

“ No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody.

Rita Mae Brown, Speech, August 28th, 1982

to all my sisters...

“ Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them.

Meet Joe Black

"If we can relate to others on the basis of equa¬nimity, our compassion will not depend on the fact that so and so is my husband, my wife, my relative, my friend. Rather, a feeling of closeness toward all others can be developed based on the simple recognition that, just like myself, all wish to be happy and to avoid suffering. In other words, we will start to relate to others on the basis of their sentient nature."

Dalai Lama

“ There’s a fine line between thinking about somebody and thinking about not thinking about somebody, but I have the patience and the self-control to walk that line for hours—days, if I have to.

Jennifer Egan, A Visit from the Goon Squad

My favorite canvas bag is happy. Today it contained blueberries, tangerines, wasabi peas,

and two new orchids.

Yes.

"if you're happy in your head, then solitude is blessed."