Now.

I say this with the best intention, with my whole heart hanging off my sleeve.  I say this as I would hope to do with absolute integrity, will and freedom.

I am happy.

In this journey I have contemplated what I have loved and lost, what I have missed out on, what I refused to let move me.  Today I found that every single moment, every single action, every second of my life leading to this point has made me who I am.

I lay here in complete gratitude.  For every lesson I didn't like, for every lesson that will be in my future, I completely embrace it...or try to (really hard), wholeheartedly.

As of NOW, I am realizing that its a constant change, cycle, learning experience, etc.  Whatever you want to call it.  For me, I need to relish in the past, present and future and see what I get.

The best present is Life.

"It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life."

To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self. Sweat is holy water, prayer beads, pearls of liquid that release your past. Sweat is an ancient and universal form of self healing, whether done in the gym, the sauna, or the sweat lodge. I do it on the dance floor. The more you dance, the more you sweat. The more you sweat, the more you pray. The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy.
-Gabrielle Roth

yes!

delighted.

Surprise delivery on my doorstep after morning yoga today.  I am proud of myself for embracing and accepting this kind of rare, beautiful Love that is in my life.  Mostly, I am in awe of all of it and tickled to death.

yummy.

In a cuddly, warm and yummy mood tonight.  I am discovering that everything in my life is pretty delicious.  Part of the discovery is opening my eyes to see the beautiful in my life and not dwell on the parts that I may not understand.

On a side note, I am also just fucking embracing everything/everyone that comes in my life and hope to the Universe I strive to reach my fullest potential- everyday.

Today was pretty awesome, can't wait for tomorrow.

To me: see you in yoga tomorrow, make it strong and memorable.

words.

I made the choice to go back into yoga after a severe wrist sprain last year.  I am writing because of the awe I feel transitioning between the "I can't" to the "I can and will".  What is magical about this experience is the transition was not the huge feat I was expecting.  From the "I can't" standpoint, transition seems so, so, so far away.  Once making that small (yet big) leap, looking back from "I can and will" you're filled with so much happiness.  Who really gives a shit how big or how small it took you to get there, YOU ARE THERE.  You, my dear, are present.

Another thought before I hit sleepy time: choice of words in Life and the power words have on all of us.  My mission is instead of the normal negativity that passes through our minds in certain situations I will substitute and say:

"I am grateful.  For (fill in the blank)"

Literally, why stress the small stuff?  As my yoga instructor would say,"This life is not a dress rehearsal.  Live it."

So beyond my random thoughts going through my mind and through my fingertips I say this,

I can.  I will.  I am grateful.  I am love.

So happy.

My summer has been full of love, laughter, country skies, good family & friends.  I have thought often through the past few months how this amount of goodness seems surreal.  I am realizing that it isn't surreal, its real life.  We should strive everyday to reach this acceptance of what we all truly deserve.  If we can accomplish that we wouldn't waste time sweating the small stuff.
(picture above: me and my reality check)

“ But it was too interesting, too new, too flattering, too deeply comforting to resist, it was a liberation to be in love and say so, and she could only let herself go deeper.

Ian McEwan, On Chesil Beach

nature kissed surprises.

Although some may deem me a space cadet I do not think I just simply overlooked the weather report that there would be tornadoes and thunderstorms all day today. I simply was enjoying my coffee, driving to class, listening to music.

Nature reality check: sirens overhead and cancellation of class because of dangerous tornadoes and thunderstorms rippling through the metroplex.

Cancellation of class? Sweet.

Even sweeter?...

Realizing I did not bring an umbrella and parked 2 miles away.

Running to my car while it was was pouring cats and dogs reminded me of when I would put my bathing suit on as a kid while it rained...and that made me smile.

So I got kissed by the rain today and was reminded of one of my favorite childhood memories.

Currently,

I am cramming for an exam and finished one out of two papers. My day was one of my favorite days, tank top and sweats with no need to shower. I have a million things zooming through out my mind but one thing that I can say is I cannot stop smiling. I am feeling so content that I want to crawl inside my heart and stay a while. I am expressing my thankfulness for my contentment because nothing right now in my life is complete. I have so much going and twisting in different directions and yet I am finding beauty in it all. Often in the past I have found myself stressing for reasons that make no sense to me now. I am learning from those past mistakes and just diving into happiness wherever and whenever I can find it.

I love this. May I remember to do this when I forget.

“ The eyes, specifically their movements, are indicative of an individual’s intelligence. People who are clever have large eye movements and are always exploring their environment. Slow eye movement or a lack of eye movement indicates a repressed level of intelligence.
- Dr. Stephen T. Chang

hell yes,

laughter is the best medicine.

satisfaction never felt so good.

Through out my existence here on Earth I have always strived to be full and content.

Full in Love.

Full in Humility.

Full in Peace.

Full with Laughter.

What I realized today is that I am also extremely satisfied with my Life. I have a partner that satisfies my Everything. And the beautiful part of it is, he does it unconsciously and on his own.

Which is doubly satisfying.

panda hug bandaids.

Currently snuggled on my couch on this cozy Sunday morning, trying to "study" and thinking of how much I have missed my blog. I can't think of anything to say right now except I am one happy camper.

I seemed to hurry through out my day excited to hear his voice, listen to his humor, see his smiling eyes, to feel safe.

I had more time on my hands I realized and too much empty space.